me. heart. you.

I tried.

To come up with something witty and creative is a feat. Something that doesn't crop up when you need it to or when it is necessary. I cannot say that it comes with practice because I haven't practiced for far too long. I started out thinking that I have this inexhaustible capacity to come up with something good but so far it's been crap. I suppose I always knew that someday I was going to run out of something to write about but I never expected it to happen this fast. I am an uncharacteristically mute writer. So this must be blogger's block.

These past few days, I never got past staring. From the moment I would click that New Post button, the blankness of the unwritten page would swallow me alive. Like Jonah and that monstrous whale. Well, he did get out, I just can't say the same thing for myself. I have no idea how long my brain plans to idle about in this black hole - this mental paralytic state that feels more like a humongous red brick wall that is keeping me enclosed in this state of non-creativity. At least, I can still break down my thoughts into specifics. Obsessive Compulsive feels homey.

But today isn't about me. It's about that person who taught me what happiness is about. Who made a big difference in my life, simply by existing. I am going to risk sounding cheesy here but I don't really care, people.

We've known each other for a couple of years and a half, give or take a few months or so. It was an unlikely friendship but it flourished despite the obvious differences that we have, more so, that we are. If you could turn back time and ask me if I thought we had a chance at a romantic relationship, I would have probably said no. Life is funny that way. You can never be too sure about tomorrow. Like gifts on Christmas, we were always told that we were given what we deserved. No one ever told me what I did right to deserve someone like him. He would always ask me why I love him, as if in disbelief at how I could have given my heart to someone like him. I would always say that I do not know - really I don't - that I just do. I am not really sure about this theory but it is believed that love without reason lasts the longest. I suppose we shall find out in a few years' time eh? I plan on being the truth to that hypothesis.

Shall I make a list instead? I am starting to discover how very convenient lists can be when it comes to things that can never be justified by a simple sentence. Let's call this the "I love it when you..." list.

I love it when you...

• When you sing me to sleep at night. When we talk on the phone 'til the wee hours, you would never say no when I would ask you to sing me to sleep. When you would run out of songs to sing, your constant humming is the lullaby that makes me feel at ease. No matter how anxious or agitated I am, when you sing me to sleep, everything is right with the world. I would close my eyes knowing that I would dream happy dreams.

• When you would call me all the possible words that mankind has invented under the category of terms of endearment. When you call me baby or honey, when you would say 'I love you cupcake!' or say 'Hey, sweetie!'
  

• When you say 'It's okay baby, everything will be alright'. Everytime you reassure me, it makes me feel secured. Still and steady. That no matter what happens, you will always be there for me whispering words of encouragement and I would, immediately, believe that everything will be alright. Because you said so.

• When you laugh. I know, I know, it sounds silly. But I loooovvveee it when you laugh. Just because.

• When you would argue with me about the littlest, and the silliest things. And I especially love it when you would give up and let me have my way.

• When you spoil me rotten. And you often do that without realising that you are doing it. 

• When we would fight over the little things and when you would say sorry. It's really cute when you say 'Sorry na...' in that cute baby voice. It makes it hard for me to be angry with you. If you use that against me, I will bash you mister!

• When you would hold my waist when walking or crossing the street. I'm sure you've never really given this a moment's worth of thought, but it makes me feel protected. Like Superman to Lois Lane, I do not feel like I have to watch my back when covering a story for the Daily Planet because Clark Kent is looking out for me.

• When you have your arms around me in a tight bear hug. I literally feel like I could stay that way forever.

• When you would attempt to deliver a corny joke. The joke doesn't make me laugh. It's the way you say it that never fails to crack me up.

• You might not have realised this but I love how you, not only take care of me, but how you take care of our relationship as well. I love how you make me feel that what we have is important. I love how you give our relationship as much attention as the other things you have to deal with on a daily basis - even when you don't have to. Despite how I am unbearably missing you, I've never felt the distance because you made me feel like all those landforms and bodies of water are immaterial to our relationship.

To sum it up, I simply love you. More so than you can ever think of. More than what any human mind can grasp. And yes, multiplied by infinity. I love you baby, happy ninth!