The constant hum of voices to my left signals my privacy as I, once again, refuse to turn up early. It represents an effort to put up a pretense of being surrounded when I am, in fact, alone. A comfort of sorts to say the least, lest I feel the urge to cower under my blanket and hide.
My eyes travel down as my finger flawlessly trace over that roll of spine I so often make use of. Manipulation is a necessity and I somehow felt a tinge of regret at the things I have gathered. Suddenly, the valley has erupted like an optical illusion from around me, its vast expanse drowning me into its depths and my mind went a whirl. The green isn't a feeling I would like to visit. I believe no one does. It is a suffocating and horrid a place to hang around in. This is the place where people often forget and become blinded with the things they think they see.
I looked away and envisioned a place of contentment but the colour lingered and the feeling remained. I believe that despite the odds, I haven't gotten this far to simply be discouraged - not now. There are far more fruitful things up ahead.
I can never be too sure, but it never hurts to hope.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
who says i can't drizzle seasoning on my white rice?
Early afternoons are especially quiet.
It has been almost a week since school ended for the semester and I find myself musing on solitude yet again. I have never seen time fly as if solid matter flashing before your eyes, opaque and tangible. Before I knew it, it is today and yesterday has drifted into nothingness leaving a speck that could only be contemplated upon. The future is unknown and we are all left wondering. Or wandering - as the case may be.
I feel a sense of urgency as I make sense of the web inside my head, trying to untangle the knots, unlock the bolts, and punch holes in its walls. There really is no sense in trying to wriggle yourself out of this pit because there are just some things that are eternally inevitable. You try acceptance but this often leads to screaming and fear at two in the morning - when the ghosts appear and all sanity is merely an idea. Keeping yourself from running about, you struggle to deviate your thoughts and find yourself slipping into the chasm. Comfort is a feat and fear makes it rather difficult to achieve. I wish things were simple and clean. We could all do with a little less mess and a little more order.
But what is it really about? Seasoning on my white rice. I defy normalcy.
It has been almost a week since school ended for the semester and I find myself musing on solitude yet again. I have never seen time fly as if solid matter flashing before your eyes, opaque and tangible. Before I knew it, it is today and yesterday has drifted into nothingness leaving a speck that could only be contemplated upon. The future is unknown and we are all left wondering. Or wandering - as the case may be.
I feel a sense of urgency as I make sense of the web inside my head, trying to untangle the knots, unlock the bolts, and punch holes in its walls. There really is no sense in trying to wriggle yourself out of this pit because there are just some things that are eternally inevitable. You try acceptance but this often leads to screaming and fear at two in the morning - when the ghosts appear and all sanity is merely an idea. Keeping yourself from running about, you struggle to deviate your thoughts and find yourself slipping into the chasm. Comfort is a feat and fear makes it rather difficult to achieve. I wish things were simple and clean. We could all do with a little less mess and a little more order.
But what is it really about? Seasoning on my white rice. I defy normalcy.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)